WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER

(Nope I’m not writing about medical school and residency years)

I’ve loved running since my 20’s when I discovered that I alone, with some determination and commitment, could get myself to run miles when I started out barely able to complete one mile. I love the thrill of pushing myself, and nothing could compare to the runners high that would stay with me after a vigorous run.

So for a while I’ve been entering races, first local 5Ks, which eventually translated into half-marathons. I was bitten by the running bug! Yet I needed optimal conditions to be met before I’d sign up for a race and commit to training. I required nothing too cold (below 40s by my standards) and nothing too hilly (I hate running uphill more than I hate managed care). In NY I run on the treadmill most of the winter because I just can’t bear the cold.

Then my friend suggested that I run the West Point half marathon in Upstate NY with her because it was not only scenic and historic, it was the first year the course was open to the public and not just Army cadets. With its gorgeous (albeit unforgiving) rolling hills overlooking the Hudson River, at a time of year when the East Coast weather still dips into the 20s, I thought NO WAY!

But then I thought, why not try? How many more years will I go before getting bored of running? If I want to still enjoy the thrill don’t I have to mix it up a bit? And what a better way to push myself out of my comfort zone than at a US military academy, full of young and fearless souls.

So I said yes. Then I didn’t think about it until a few days before. The weather has still been bitter cold in NY and even snowed yesterday. Yes, it was snowing as I lay out my clothes for the next days race.

We got to the course and it was roughly 28 degrees. The wind was blowing harshly. I was not happy. I tried to focus on being grateful that the sun was out and it was a dry day, but that didn’t last long as soon all I could think of my nose that wouldn’t stop running and my throat that ached with every sharp cold breath.

I decided I wouldn’t be hard on myself and I’d just walk. Why not? Enough is enough. Then the other runners around me quickly began to pass and something inside of me got sparked – I started running again. Uphill. My ears hurt from the wind. I cursed my friend under my breath for bringing me to this hellish place. That’s pretty much how I made it through the first hour or so.

Then I realized I had no idea how far I’d come because I hadn’t seen a mile marker or sign at all. I had no idea how much was left ahead of me. And I was still really cold. The air still hurt my lungs. I decided that I was going to
walk and if it didn’t warm up soon I’d just quit. Who needs this anyway? I could be home under a warm blanket watching TV.

Then I heard a cadet (in shirts and a tee shirt by the way) call out “mile 8 completed” and I couldn’t believe I had come so far so fast. Then literally at that moment the Kelly Clarkson song “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” came up on my playlist.

Once again something in me got sparked and I plowed through the rest of the race without so much as a passing thought about the cold. A few more hills came up but my anger toward them didn’t. I just did it. After all, some of these cadets were running with 40+pound backpacks on, no doubt preparing them for an inevitable tour of duty abroad. Was I really so close to giving up because I was cold and hated hills?

Passing the finish line of the race was one of the high points of my life so far. No one made me do it (although my friend had a lot to do with getting me there) and no one was going to give me a reward for it either. This was purely human drive and adrenaline getting me through what I thought was an unbearable circumstance. It may be a circumstance I put myself in, but next time it may be one thrown upon me. I know that today’s lesson means I won’t be so quick to consider quitting next time.

Life is full of uphills you’d rather avoid and atmospheres that are less than desirable. Sure, we can quit whenever we want. At what price do we quit? One piece of wisdom I’ll never forget is that people who have aged rarely regret things they’ve done as much as they regret the things they didn’t.

So how will you push yourself out of your comfort zone?